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Assorted songs I like, and weekend open thread

30 Mar

Amy Ray came to Portland on Tuesday. Her band was the mutha-effin BUTCHIES, (yay!), and this rad chick named Lindsay Fuller opened. Amy Ray played this, among other awesome songs in her typically awesome fashion:

I saw Stanley Clarke quite by accident at Blue Note in New York last week. Fantastical show, including a 15-year-old pianist that blew the tops of everyone’s heads off. It was very messy. Here’s Stanley playing bass and then talking about playing bass:

You all know how I feel about unexpected covers, so this acoustic cover of the synthey Heaven pretty much rocks. Brandi Carlile is in Portland in May, and I’m currently trying to justify the ticket price. Stay tuned to find out who wins, my fiscally conservative self or my musically liberal self. Ha:

Another cover, for kicks, because I was listening along to Lights not expecting this AT ALL (bonus track! C’mooon CDs aren’t dead YET, guys, amirite??):

I love a good remix as much as I love a good cover, and thanks to Pandora this song in both its original and remixy forms is now in my regular rotation:

Heard anything good lately? Any good shows or stuff you’re excited about this weekend? Share, share alike.

Things rich people get for free

27 Mar

I flew first-class a while ago. I figured that it would be the same as regular-class, except with bigger seats. OH NO, my friends, THAT IS NOT SO. There are free things. THEY GIVE THE RICH PEOPLE FREE THINGS. Allow me to regale you with a list of Unlimited Things Rich People are Given for Free While Flying:

  • Alcohol
  • Soda
  • Tiny bottles of water
  • Tiny candy bars
  • Cookies, pretzels, peanuts
  • Hot towels*
  • Dinner**
  • GIANT ARMRESTS
  • Pillows, blankets
  • Seats that recline to a comfortable and reasonable distance
  • First choice of where to put your crap
  • Obsequious service

I’m not kidding about that obsequious service part. After partaking liberally in everything that was free, I passed out in my chair. I woke up at some point to adjust my position in my 45-degree reclining chair (!) and the attendant said, “You know, if your drink goes flat I can replace it for you.” SERIOUSLY.

* I’m still not clear on the purpose of these. I watched the old white men to see what they did with them. One guy wiped his hands, another guy wiped his face. I briefly considered taking a bum bath for lulz (ha!) but just copied the white-hairs, minus the face thing cuz makeup, duh.
** Not just any ordinary plane ride dinner, you guys. It had an entree, a fruit side, a salad, chips, a dessert and actual silverware on a freakin’ platter. A PLATTER. And a cloth napkin.

Mexican adventures

28 Feb

On the way out of the US, I had giant pointy metal sticks in my purse. I was allowed to carry these onto the plane. I then proceeded to pull them out and brandish them about hither and thither with wild abandon. No one bothered me a bit, and in fact they even brought me tea.

On the way back INTO the US, I was made to throw them away by a Rather Cranky Fellow. What were these sticks for, you ask? Perhaps for holding up the plane, redirecting it to a politically important location, and then landing it safely in order to have peaceful diplomatic talks in a mutually agreeable location? Commandeering it for a round-the-world disco dance party for me and 150 of my closest friends? For poking holes in important plane parts? Poking holes in important philosophical theories?

No, my friends, they were knitting needles. TSA even says I am allowed to have them on the plane. Mexico security, however, feels differently. Now let us all mourn the loss of my giant knitting needles and the boring scarf I was working on. Let this be a lesson to me: It is far cheaper to simply buy a scarf than it is to knit one. Although it certainly does kill the time on a long flight rather well.

This post brought to you by my favorite new word.

Travlin’ Roundup

6 Feb

I finally had an aviation cocktail. Here’s a picture:

I had this here.

I also saw this:

and this:

and this:

I do so love me some Frida and Diego. But especially Frida.

Five Things I Learned in Vegas

8 Jul

Since it’s almost the weekend, how about some life lessons from the partyingest city in the Western US? Yes, I went there. Of my own free will. It’s true! I have proof. Since I’m a paragon of virtue and all, I thought you could benefit from some Tips For Vegas (from me):

5. Bingo and Blackjack are fun.
4. Slot machines are boring
3. $20 drinks are worth it…
2. …but free jagerbombs are better
1. Hookers and blow are harder to get than you’d think.

That’s all folks! What are y’all doing this weekend?

I want a trust fund

18 Mar

When I grow up, I want to be blessed with a chip on my shoulder, imbued with a sense of entitlement I’ve never questioned or lived without. I want a trust fund so I can look down my nose at people who desire money. I want to show my scorn for a poor man’s desire by wearing thrift-store clothing ironically. I’ll call myself a socialist, a populist. All my friends will be just like me. I want to assume that I am more intelligent than Steve the janitor by virtue of the sort of work I do, nevermind that his mind, unlike mine, is free to think truly original thoughts while he does his work; whereas my mind is occupied trying to figure out new ways to sell the same old shit, office politics, and the bottom line. I’ll invent dumpster-diving, train-hopping, international travel, and be the first person in history to discover poetry and nature. I’ll buy cases of expensive wine, refuse to cross rivers and train tracks, never leave my neighborhood, call myself a philanthropist, consider graduate school, complain about how hard it is to find good help these days.

No post this week

4 Nov

due to tropicality:

In lieu of actual content, I give you a picture of me at a luau, making a funny face. I hope this amuses until I return to a mood more snarkily suitable for Serious Blogging:

Now I’m going to go eat some cookies.

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