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Ballet and body image

12 Jun

I, like millions of other little girls, grew up dreaming of being a prima ballerina. As soon as I was able, I began checking out the same three books about ballet from the library over and over and over, poring over each page, each photo, each dance step tutorial. My favorite was about a deaf girl who kept the beat of the music by feeling vibrations through the floor. Soon I had every position memorized and began using my dresser as a ballet barre. I begged my parents to send me to lessons – reasoning it was only fair that I take ballet, as my brother took baseball and we should each be allowed to have one extracurricular hobby.

Tutus are rad.

Modern tutus are affordable and come with stretchy waistbands so even non-ballerinas can pretend to be ballerinas in the privacy of their own homes.

I loved everything about ballet: the dancers’ strong, long limbs; their high, tight chignons; the grand pianos in the practice rooms; their romantic performance skirts; their utter fanaticism – skipping high school to study dance, shipping their preadolescent selves off to Russia to become the very best at a dying art, eschewing the pubescent party scene to practice plies and pirouettes.

Little did I know that while Little League is nearly free, ballet lessons are expensive. I took a single year of classes before my parents gave up the budgetary ghost, during which I learned many useful facts:


  • Pirouetting to the left is harder than to the right
  • Tights + leg hair = itchy
  • I am more flexible than the average person, but not more flexible than the average ballerina
  • I have a perfect point
  • If part of your Halloween costume as Pippi Longstocking involves wire hangers in your braids, and you don’t have time to change before class, your braids will scrape the wall during your barre work, and probably leave a mark

The most important lesson I learned, though – imparted to me personally by Madame Instructor herself, a wizened old woman and an expedient disciplinarian – was that I simply did not have, and would never have, the “body type” of a real ballerina. It’s hard to fathom how the teacher could have possibly drawn any conclusions about my suitability for – or interest in – an adult career in professional dance based off of my 9-year-old body, but there you have it. And thus one of the many seeds of body hatred was sown in my innocent little mind. I was not thin enough, not rich enough, not good enough for the one thing I wanted more than anything else: to dance, dance, dance.

So, were there any evil grown-ups in your childhood life that tried to squash your dreams for no good reason? And do you remember a particular moment when your self-image (body- or otherwise) was thoroughly cemented in your wee childlike mind?

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Halloween costumes

31 Oct

Best Halloween costume idea I’ve heard so far this year? Dress as a woman you admire. Here are some women I admire:

– Hillary Clinton
– Chelsea Clinton
– Shulamith Firestone
– Jill/Twisty Faster
– Natalie Goldberg
– Sappho
– Emily Dickinson
– Katharine Hepburn

The only problem with some of these costumes is that they’d be pretty difficult to pull off without explaining first, who you are, and second, who your costume is, to people all evening. The thing with costumes is they’ve got to be archetypal, or at least near-instantly recognizable. Admirable women with great achievements under their belts have a lot less social currency than, say, “sexy nurse” or “sexy policewoman.” And therein lies the problem.

Who were you? Who would you be if you dressed as a woman you admired?

Halloween Weekend Open Thread

28 Oct
This is the Halloween costume I would get for my cat
if he were the sort of cat to wear costumes.

It’s Friday, and that means Weekend Open Thread time. Stuck for a topic? I’ll give you some!

  • What are you going to be for Halloween?
  • What are you going to DO for Halloween?
  • How many pumpkins are too many pumpkins? (Answer: TRICK QUESTION! No amount of pumpkins.)
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love Halloween? (My answer = 753.)
  • What’s your favorite Halloween candy?




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