- Getting ready for bed. Dude, this is boring as fuck. Wash your face, take out your contacts, put on your glasses, brush your hair, put on your pajamas, floss, brush your teeth, set your alarm, turn off your lights. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I just want to pass the fuck out and be instantly asleep.
- Getting ready for work. Hit snooze a thousand times, make coffee, put stuff in coffee, take a shower, drink coffee, get dressed, dry hair, put crap on face, put contacts in, curl eyelashes, find socks, feed cat, pack lunch. WHO NEEDS IT. Working before work is just more work and it sucks, all of it. Getting ready is only fun when you’re halfway to drunk and doing a smokey eye or putting rhinestones on your FACE. I was born ready to eat cake, why can’t I be born ready for work?
- Riding the escalator. Not only are escalators evil death machines, once you’re on them, you can’t get around the other people. It’s like an elevator without the at least moderately interesting elevator TV. And they always make the stairs super-hard to use by putting them somewhere totally inconvenient and even sometimes behind an innocuous-looking door. So then you’re stuck on the escalator and bored until you get to the top. BOO.
- Commuting. I don’t care if you drive, walk, bike, ride the bus, whatever. There is nothing exciting about taking the same route to the same place every day for eternity. Oh look, it’s that little corner store you pass every day! Oh look, it’s the back of some lady’s head! And over there – is that – a middle-aged business professional? The sights, the smells, the HORRORS!
It’s Friday! Why not listen to some awesome new music from an awesome new musician? This video is kind of like what I imagine an American Apparel photo shoot would be like. Of course I’m in love with it:
On the docket for my weekend:
- Outdoor movie night (now accepting movie suggestions!)
- Poker night (I don’t remember how to play, so it should be an exercise in losing with grace)
- Groceries (fruits! veggies! almond milk! spinach! I am Popeye!)
- Homework (well this is new.)
What are you up to this weekend?
I have a confession. I love Jenna Marbles. You all know her, right? She rose to internet stardom by making the “How to trick people into thinking you’re good-looking” video. Since then, she’s really grown on me. For example, she made this and this.
She has a way of explaining stuff that I think about a lot (like marriage and female rivalry and heavy stuff about society, yo) in a way that’s totally accessible to regular people. So accessible, in fact, that I think that if her material were properly curated, it might serve as a pretty decent introduction to feminism for the uninitiated.
Here is one of my favorites of hers, in which she explains the infamous-to-feminists “nice guy” complex in crystal clear terms, sans any of the terminology that we internet feminists typically use: