Archive | May, 2012

I Got Bangs!

31 May

I’m wasting no time in crossing things off my 30 Before 30 list – so last night, I got bangs!

What do you think??

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130 Days: 30 Before 30

30 May

Guess who’s got two thumbs and turns 30 in 130 days?


That’s right, kids, your beloved blogger will officially be An Adult. Goodbye, freewheeling 20s, hello tax-paying 30s! In the spirit of entering The Responsible Decade, I’ve made a list of things I want to accomplish before The Big Day:

In case you can’t read my scrawls, here’s the list in boring Times New:

  1. Take two aerial classes
  2. Wear everything in my closet once
  3. Make magnetic makeup board
  4. Make rainbow macaroons
  5. Go to the beach
  6. Yarn-bomb
  7. Make countdown-to-30 calendar
  8. Take one photo per day
  9. Start photo blogging
  10. Have a fake wedding photo shoot
  11. Have pictures taken in a photobooth
  12. Get a six-pack (of abs!)
  13. Do the splits (both ways!)
  14. Find the perfect black shift dress
  15. Hike Little Grayback Mountain
  16. Have high tea
  17. Visit feminist bookstore
  18. Do 20 push-ups on my toes
  19. Dye my hair
  20. Get bangs
  21. Make funky-colored hair extensions
  22. Run six miles per day
  23. Run a 5k with a friend
  24. Join a running club
  25. Plan and host a rainbow party
  26. Go berry-picking
  27. Make limoncello
  28. Write in diary
  29. Enroll at Columbia
  30. Plan and host an awesome 30th theme party!

Do you make birthday lists? What do you want to do before you turn 30? Or, what do you wish you had done before your 30th birthday? Or what do you want to do before your next birthday?


Portland Double Rainbow

26 May

Dark grey skies, double rainbow, rain, sunshine, and thunder. Just another spring day in Portland.

Towel Day Open Thread: Douglas Adams Edition

25 May

Happy Towel Day, humans! If you don’t know what Towel Day is, it’s a day that started in 2001 after Douglas Adams, best known as the author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and a number of other awesome laugh-out-loud books beloved by nerds like me everywhere, died. May 25 was selected as a day for fans to carry a towel with them wherever they go, since a towel is a massively useful thing for interstellar hitchhikers.

So, after you’re done mopping up all the blood that poured out of your ears during the Vogon Poetry Slam, stop by here and spill what’s on your mind. It’s an open thread, so talk amongst yourselves. What are your plans this weekend? On a scale of 1-10, how much did you love the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Are you carrying a towel with you today?

And most of all, remember kids: DON’T PANIC.

Baking with Instagram: Cinnamon Buns

24 May

I love to bake. I especially love to bake sweet things. I also recently discovered instagram, so now you get to experience my baking adventures with 75 percent more faux-artsy filter effects, free!

Here we have your standard dough ingredients, all mise’d and ready to go.
Let’s not forget the bowl full of sugar, cinnamon, and a pinch of salt, for the filling:
A little TV magic and what felt like six hours later and we’ve got this:
Some sickly-looking creatures ready to be popped into the fridge for oh, say, 16 hours. Not before I sampled the filling, of course. AHEM.
Take them out, put them in a cold oven with a pan of boiling water beneath them for about an hour, and you get something like this:
Festively plump cinnamon rolls!
Bake them for a half hour and then you’re ready for another filter effect:
Let them cool as long as you can stand, pile a crapload of maple-cream-cheese-buttercream frosting on there, and you’re ready for a (dunh duh duhhhh):
OK, I lied. this one isn’t instagram. It’s just me drawing on a crappy photo in an attempt to make it prettier for you, my internet friends. You get what you pay for, folks!
Here is the recipe I used, in case you want to make your own Instagram Cinnamon Buns:
Instagram Cinnamon Buns:


    4 large egg yolks, room temperature
    1 large whole egg, room temperature
    2 ounces sugar, approximately 1/4 cup
    3 ounces unsalted butter, melted, approximately 6 tablespoons
    6 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
    20 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 cups, plus additional for dusting
    1 package instant dry yeast, approximately 2 1/4 teaspoons
    1 1/4 teaspoons kosher salt
    Vegetable oil or cooking spray


    8 ounces light brown sugar, approximately 1 cup packed
    1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
    Pinch salt
    3/4-ounce unsalted butter, melted, approximately 1 1/2 tablespoons

Frosting (I used leftover maple cream cheese buttercream frosting from this recipe):


For the dough: whisk the egg yolks, whole egg, sugar, butter, and buttermilk together. Add approximately 2 cups of the flour along with the yeast and salt; whisk until moistened and combined. Add all but 3/4 cup of the remaining flour and stir together. Turn out onto counter and knead for 5 minutes. Add more flour if necessary. Knead another 5 minutes or so. Oil a large bowl. Transfer the dough to the bowl, lightly oil the top of the dough, cover and let double in volume, 2 to 2 1/2 hours.

Combine the brown sugar, cinnamon and salt in a medium bowl. Mix until well incorporated. Set aside until ready to use.

Butter a 9 by 13-inch glass baking dish. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface. Shape the dough into a rectangle with the long side nearest you. Roll into an 18 by 12-inch rectangle. Brush the dough with the 3/4-ounce of melted butter. Sprinkle the filling mixture over the dough; gently press the filling into the dough. Beginning with the long edge nearest you, roll the dough into a tight cylinder. Firmly pinch the seam to seal and roll the cylinder seam side down. Slice the cylinder into 12 pieces. Arrange rolls cut side down in the baking dish; cover tightly with plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator overnight or up to 16 hours.

Remove the rolls from the refrigerator and place in an oven that is turned off. Fill a shallow pan 2/3-full of boiling water and set on the rack below the rolls. Close the oven door and let the rolls rise until they look slightly puffy; approximately 30 minutes. Remove the rolls and the shallow pan of water from the oven.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

When the oven is ready, place the rolls on the middle rack and bake until golden brown, , approximately 30 minutes.

While the rolls are cooling slightly, make the icing (or just get your leftover frosting out of the fridge, and eat some while no one is looking.) Spread over the rolls and serve immediately. Eat six or seven in a row, and tell everyone you made a half batch. Ha!

What’s your weakness, loves? Mine is clearly sweets – especially sweets of the cookie, cake or pastry variety. If it combines butter, sugar, and a hot oven, it’s a sure bet in my house.


21 May

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21 May

I recently discovered kumquats.

They look so innocent and delicious, don’t they? Like oranges. Cute, baby oranges. That you don’t have to peel! How handy.

But I quickly discovered that I don’t like kumquats. They taste like lemons, only with more… “kick.” Fruit, my dears, should be sweet.

Add a ton of sugar and put it in a pie crust for maximum delicious.

What are your favorite fruits, and ways to eat them? And, if any of you have a way to make strawberry pie that isn’t watery, do share. I’ve tried for three summers in a row with no success, and strawberry-picking season is coming up!

Things I Once Believed Were True

17 May

When I was little, I asked my mom why people hated hippies. (Right after asking her what a hippie was.) She replied: “Well, people thought they were dirty, and that they slept around.”
Having no knowledge of euphemisms at such a tender age, I naturally assumed that “sleeping around” meant a person who would wake up in the morning, then go into their living room and take a nap. Then go out for groceries and have a nap in front of the grocery store. Then go to the bus stop and sleep a little bit there, too. Then maybe wander to the park and have another nap, followed quickly by a quick snooze on the train or at the library, before heading home for a good night’s rest.
From here.
I then pictured my parents as young hippies, sleeping all over town, being despised by the squares for their perceived laziness. My parents, I figured, must have changed a lot since then, as they were forever waking my little brother and me up for things – school, summer camp, chores. Their sleep needs surely diminished in the years between freewheeling hippiedom and parenthood. Of course, their lives didn’t really exist before ME, so I didn’t trouble my round little head about it much. 
Kid logic is a lot like adult logic, only funnier.

Recent frippery

9 May

Well, dears, I finally got my mitts on a pair of these babies:

I have wanted these ever since New Year’s, when I had a sparkle/glitter-themed soiree. I spied them online, and even went so far as to order them, but they were swiped from my front porch on delivery day. Sooo I went to the brick-and-mortar store from whence they came, but they were sold out in my size. Sadfaced, I had to wear brown metallic pumps instead of these glorious silver ones to my party, and resolved to be forever sparkless.

But, Lo! On my way to pick up a pair of Sensible Black Flats (to replace the other pair that had been mercilessly peed upon by an Evil Cat) the other month, I spied with my little eye… SPARKLE SHOES! They had restocked since New Year’s, in my size, and now they are mine, mine, MINE all mine! And I shall commence inventing occasions for which to wear them post haste.

And then there are these:

There really is no justification for them, other than they are AMAZING and I love them. The context: Coworker needed to pick up some mustaches (for obvious reasons), I accompanied her to the frippery store, spotted these in the crazy-ass eyelash section and snapped them right up. Occasions shall be invented, glue shall be applied, fun shall be had.

So I’m not officially a drag queen. But anyone can be a queen, darling. 


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